By Dave Simpson
Opinion columnist
Jan. 2, 2013 6:57 p.m.
THIS IS RICH: Out here where I live, the state has a program in which dilapidated houses are purchased, fixed up, then sold at a reasonable price and low interest rate to first-time home buyers.
This makes a certain amount of sense, since the only entity with enough money to deal with government regulations these days is the government.
Included in the state program are radio ads, to encourage people to buy one of these government-renovated houses. And here's the funny part.
The ad says that since there are federal dollars involved in paying for all this, applicants must fill out forms to demonstrate their "FISCAL RESPONSIBILITY."
Take a second here, readers, to let that sink in. Fiscal responsibility. Federal government.
When I hear that radio ad when I'm driving, I need to pull over for a few minutes to regain my composure. It's dangerous to drive with tears of laughter in your eyes. A guy could get in an accident laughing at the notion of demonstrating our fiscal responsibility to the federal government.
Consider what has been going on in Washington in recent days, and the fiscal cliff, and a $16 trillion debt, and $1 trillion annual deficits, and three-day work weeks in Congress, and the debt ceiling closing in, and the pay raise the dysfunctional Congress just gave itself, and "sequestration," and all these phony-baloney end-of-year deadlines they set up for themselves.
And then consider the crazy notion that anyone, anywhere, would have to demonstrate their "fiscal responsibility" to that bunch of world-class spendthrift yahoos in Washington.
That's like requiring us to show our fire extinguishers and smoke alarms to serial arsonists.
I need to stop for a moment here and wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes.
NORM CROSBY ALERT: I've regained my composure now, and can report that on "Fox and Friends in the Morning" on New Years Day, Gerald Celente, founder of the Trends Research Institute, was making predictions for 2013.
Referring to recent events in Washington, he said, "Look at the physical cliff drama. The DC drama queens."
Here's my prediction for 2013: Some viewer will point out to Gerald Celente that it is a "fiscal cliff," not a "physical cliff." Big difference.
And I'm not sure I want to take economic advice from a guy who doesn't know the difference.
ON THAT TOPIC: On one of the political shows on CNBC last week, I learned that economic pundit Jared Bernstein served for a time as the "chief economist and economic adviser" to — are you ready for this? — Vice President Joe Biden.
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I was taken aback. Nonplussed.
"Does this mean,'' I wondered, "that the grinning, mugging, sarcastic buffoon who made such fun of Paul Ryan in the vice presidential debate has a CHIEF ECONOMIST and ECONOMIC ADVISOR? That Biden joker had a CHIEF ECONOMIST?''
Couldn't he just borrow the president's chief economist if he had a question? He needs his own chief economist?
And, if he had a chief economist, does that mean he had a bunch of other economists who answered to the chief economist? How many economists does a vice president need, anyway?
And we wonder why we have a $16 trillion national debt.
NEW LAWS: Almost 900 new laws went into effect in California on the first of the year, according to news reports.
When I was a cub reporter in Laramie, Wyo., 40 years ago, there was a city council member who would always note the number on any new ordinance being passed, and shake his head in dismay. And then he would ask, "How many new laws do we really need to run this city?"
If you live in California, the answer to that question is apparently almost 900 new state laws this year alone, which probably goes a long way toward explaining the complicated governmental mess they're facing in California, these days.
And yet I'm sure there are those true believers in California who figure that everything will be fixed, and the place will be run like a Swiss watch, now that the geniuses in state government have bestowed all of those wonderful new laws on their constituents.
Don't bet on it.
Contact Dave Simpson at d_simpson@bresnan.net.
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