A therapist told me my mom and dad were causing all my problems—so I cut them off for five years.
In 2008, Christina Buttons took the advice from her therapist to cut off her parents completely. (Illustration by The Free Press)
By Christina Buttons
08.12.26 —
Culture and IdeasBook reviews, cultural critiques, essays on the zeitgeist, and profiles of the avant-garde.
“We have two adult children, a son aged 30 and a daughter aged 27. We are estranged from them both,” wrote a 60-year-old mom.
“Our oldest son, 27, has gone no contact with our entire family,” wrote a 57-year-old mom.
“It seems like she’s been influenced by the “no contact” movement too common in her generation, which rejects normal parents as toxic,” wrote yet another mom, this one 55, whose daughter doesn’t speak to her.
I’ve read so many messages from people who are desperately sad that their adult children don’t talk to them. That’s because I’m the editor of
Tough Love with Abigail Shrier, our weekly advice column, so
it’s my job to sort through the letters she gets. You ask: How do you rebuild a relationship with your son when you’ve been cut off? If your daughter’s decided you’re toxic, how do you cope with the pain?
At the heart of these questions is another, even deeper one: How could my own child reject me like this?
In her essay today, Christina Buttons answers that question—explaining why she went no contact with her parents for five years, at the age of 19, and why she’ll always regret it.
If you’re one of the many people who’s told us that your child isn’t speaking to you right now: This is proof that there’s always hope.
—Freya Sanders
***
